The Whirlwind

So life has gotten a bit complicated from where we last left it.

I got accepted into The Scholar Ship Program through Macquaire University the same day they called to let me know that the voyages had been canceled because the funding had been lost. "So sorry but you'll have to make other plans, wait until the next school year, or go to Macquarie in Australia straight away. And by the way... I know you were planning on going to school in September but school starts in July in Australia so make due."

I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me. But thats life, so I regrouped, and came up with a new plan. Stay in the states til December, then head off to Australia for the Spring semester, and then to The Scholar Ship for the Fall of 09. In the mean time to keep my insurance and continue to defer my student loan payments, I'd take MBA classes here or online.

Great plan... until I realized that most of the masters deadlines had passed. Those that hadn't passed were contingent on passing the GMAT test in 2 weeks and should all go well and I got accepted, MBA classes would be available for the low price of $15,000 a semester. I was like WHAT THE HELL?! I'm better off going to Australia right away because to stay would be to operate on a big What If? Also should I not pass the GMAT and as a result not pass Go, I would now have student loan payments to worry about that could not be deferred as well as loss of insurance, which in a nutshell would make me stuck in the proverbial mud in Massachusetts. I could kiss my plans of relocating or attending grad school overseas goodbye.

It was time to make a new plan: Go to Macquarie... And as a result, leave everyone here hanging.

In a way I was really scared because not only was it a short notice plan, but I was leaving my family and friends, a house with problematic tenants, 2 mischievous dogs, and my life as I knew it behind.

Which brings me to this moment. A moment that feels like I'm on the verge of a life altering decision. And that in itself makes me very very happy. I love change. I'm finally breaking loose. And yet somehow in my happiness I feel guilty for the people and situations I'm leaving behind.
When I told my parents I was leaving they weren't thrilled. My mom is sort of on the fence but my father is upset that I'm leaving it all behind. They haven't had time to prepare for this moment and in a way I'm responsible for that. My friends on the other hand I thought would be happy for me. Thrilled in fact because I've been wanting to do this my whole life and they know it. Imagine my surprise when I told them all save 2 were upset I was leaving and by virtue in their minds, leaving them behind. NO ONE BUT TWO PEOPLE WERE HAPPY FOR ME.

Wow.

What a shock and a bummer at the same time.

Interesting that now that I'm in the mindset of leaving I'm now cultivating new relationships and finding new friends. Funny how this stuff always happens when you're ready to take flight. :-)